I was born in New Delhi and obtained a degree in Indian Literature (graduating with honors). I also earned a degree in Textile Design from Delhi University. I am married with 2 adult children. Since 1992, my husband and I have been based in Milan, Italy. My husband worked for one of the largest travel companies in India and was sent to Milan as the Director for Southern Europe in 1992. Prior to that, he was the Director for the Northern India region based in Delhi. We also lived in the United States before coming to Milan. Presently, I own an Indian Restaurant in Milan and my husband owns his own travel agency.
While I am currently serving as president, I have been a member of the Benvenuto Club since my arrival in Milan in ’92. I joined the Benvenuto Club shortly after arriving in Milan and it helped me to adjust to new surroundings tremendously. I was able to make a lot of friends and I never felt lost in this new place in spite of not knowing the Italian language.
It was back in 1967 that the Benvenuto Club was founded by eight English-speaking ladies of different nationalities who found themselves moving with their husbands to a new country and having to face new surroundings, a new language, a different culture and customs. Most of them were young mothers who had to face the additional problems of housing, schooling, finding the right doctor for their children, etc.
The group developed fast and as their number could no longer be contained in private homes, they started meeting in central locations, changing them according to availability until finally they decided on Circolo Alessandra Volta, via Giusti 16, Milan, where Club members and guests meet on the second Tuesday of each month from September through June to handle the Club’s various activities. In July and August coffees are held in the homes of members to welcome newcomers moving to Milan. The Club’s contract agreement with Circolo Volta is on a yearly rental basis, where we have all the rooms, the big hall and the bar at our disposal for a monthly rent and paying for catering services. The Club offers the young mothers free baby-sitting to encourage them to attend the monthly meetings.
The Benvenuto Club also does a significant amount of outreach, supporting financially and through personal assistance, three charity associations - Padre Beccaro Institute which offers education and assistance to children of low-income families; Idea Vita which has two centers which host handicapped adults; and ,Home of Charlotte’s Children in Montego Bay, Jamaica (also for low-income families).
Here’s an outline of the most important events which our Club organizes every year:
CHRISTMAS BAZAAR: The revenue goes entirely to our charities. Our members try their best to get useful gifts from the stores in their zones to be used for the raffle.
SILVER ANNIVERSARY TEA: To celebrate those members who have been with the Club for 25 years or more, to thank them for their loyalty and dedication to the Club.
SPONSORS’ LUNCH: To express our gratitude to those sponsors who have been helping us year after year to meet our financial obligations (such as Bolliger, AIMC, Core Cocchini and others; their names appear on our Benvenuto magazine)
FASHION SHOW: This year we have organized a unique and different fashion show by inviting a group all the way from Japan. It will take place at Circolo Volta on October 14th . We’ve contacted the Japanese General Consulate in Milan and hope to get their help. The aim of the group is to strengthen and improve cultural relations between Japan and Italy. We are counting on a high attendance from outside the Club as well.
VOLUNTEERS’ BRUNCH: It is usually held in a spacious restaurant to sincerely thank the high number of volunteers who dedicate their time and efforts to promote Club activities.
DINNER DANCE: This takes place around end May/early June in one of the important hotels in Milan to celebrate the Club’s year-end activities.
It was a real honor to have been selected to serve as President of Benvenuto Club of Milan, which now boost 330 members and 40 nationalities.
As I stood on the streets in Milan, Italy, I witnessed a number of incidences. First, a woman reached over and touched what appeared to be a friend on her shoulders and blew kisses in the air to her left and then to her right. Just a few steps away from the women was a peaceful-looking gentleman sitting in the company of a beautiful woman. His flowing Italian words put a smile on her face – one he couldn’t help but radiate back at her. And, a few steps from him, a young gentlemen (who looked to be about 15) was enjoying what appeared to be an Italian version of a Bud Light with lime. He was savoring every sip. All of this occurring in a big opening outside of a restaurant where more people were sitting, enjoying a meal at, experiencing a fine wine or, sipping a cup of coffee.
These people appeared to be relaxed, calm and very much conscious of their quality of life. Quite the free spirits, I’d say. As I walked a bit further down the street and through a park, I saw a young man lying on a park bench taking a nap. In the grass was a woman with a sundress reading a book. Under a big beautiful tree, there were three young ladies having a sandwich while a couple nearby were engaged in a passionate kiss.
Life seemed so enjoyable for everyone. The emphasis was on being present, in the moment, just enjoying the company of others and the quality of life. I was awe of the beautiful country already but the people and their warm spirits captivated my heart.
Later during my stay, my sister and I met a woman from Columbia, South America who spoke English. She spotted us saw us fumbling our way through the grocery store. She stopped and shared an Italian secret which both surprised us and allowed us to experience grocery shopping and food in Italy like most never will.
Her name was Marina Sanchez, and she was a member of a group called the Benvenuto Club of Milan. It’s a nonprofit organization of English speaking women who live in Italy. We had the pleasure of spending the next day with them and visiting Bellagio. Quickly we found ourselves becoming good friends with the many of these incredible Milanese women. I later met the President of the Club, Sandhya Gupta.
I’ll share the secret we learned in the grocery store later and more about my overall trip but for now, I want to introduce you to Sandhya Gupta, one of the world’s greatest hidden P3 Pearls. I know hearing her story will inspire all of you to live a more fulfilling life of Power, Passion and Purpose. She’s a woman of grace who exudes power through her poise and humbling demeanor. Who knew all of these attributes could live in such an extraordinary leader?
Imagine finding yourself in a different culture with people surrounded by people who have a different way of living and sometimes even a different philosophy of life. That’s the thought I had in my mind as I watched those two ladies share a tender greeting, the man speaking Italian to his lover and the couple kissing in the park. I wondered what would life be like if I suddenly lived in a foreign land where I knew no one. How would I cope?
How would blend in and still stay true to who I am? Sandhya is our very testament to remaining grounded in a foreign land. And how despite cultural differences the cornerstones of friendship and womanhood remain.
She opens up about living in India, the US and ultimately Italy. She shares the secret to experiencing an easy life no matter what culture you find yourself in.
She unlocks the doors to what she knows for sure and the best advice for any leader desiring to empower a team.
Sit back and enjoy the great message from Sandhya Gutpa of Milan, Italy.
The way that it’s standing right now, it looks like the recession is not going away any time soon. Back when it was first announced, many experts said that it would be around the middle of 2009 before we started to see a recovery, but now that the news has been examined and analyzed, it turns out that it’s going to probably be well into 2010 before we see any signs of a definite recovery.
That means that we’re going to have to learn how to cope with what’s ahead.
First and foremost, understand that the worst thing that you can do is give in to despair. When all that you hear is bad news, when every time that you turn on the television gives you nothing but horrific news, understand that the media’s job is to get people to turn them on - and nothing gets people worked up like bad news.
That means that when you find yourself sinking into a pit of despair, you need to take a deep breath and look at things with a realistic eye. If you’re like most people, you’ll find that you’ve probably got a good reason to have realistic hope in your life.
Next, assess your situation. Forget about how everyone else’s life looks. Concentrate on your own circumstances. Just because you know three people who got laid off doesn’t mean that you’re going to be laid off next. So, take a good, hard look at where you are and see if you can’t work on ways to better strengthen your situation.
After you’ve assessed your situation, sit down and come up with a roadmap for future directions. This is the planning stage of coping with the recession. What it means is that you’ll want to really concentrate on how to best handle your circumstances. Make sure that you don’t do anything drastic in reaction to the economic downturn. Too often, people don’t put enough thought into the planning stage and fail to take into account all of the various factors that need to be examined.
After planning for your future, take a good look around and see if there aren’t any support networks that you can use. Too often, people find themselves overwhelmed by situations and rather than looking to others for help and advice, they try to handle it on their own - and many times, they are crushed under the weight of dealing with things alone.
When it comes to a recession, none of us are truly alone in the mess.
Lastly, take the time to recover from where you’re at. The recession is going to end, and when it does, it’s okay to take some time off and decompress. You’ll probably have been under a tremendous strain, and the last thing you need to do is jump right back into action when the time comes. Instead, take a little breather and then slowly work your way back to where you need to be.
Yes, this recession is going to be tough and it’s going to be hard on you, but remember that it will pass - and that you’ll come out stronger than when you went in.
As a new contributor to The P3 Power Boost , I would like to introduce myself; my name is Lauren Wilder and I like go by my last name. I am a recent graduate of the University of North Carolina at Greensboro with a degree in English. Currently I am located in Kinston, a small town on the eastern part of the state, with hopes of escaping the nest. My installment will be about me venturing out into real world, first job, the dating scene, friendships etc. I hope you find it insightful, entertaining, or maybe even heartfelt. Welcome to my life.
It’s been a little over five months since I’ve graduated from school and I’ve already been through two jobs, you’re probably already thinking ‘is this girl out of her mind to go through jobs in this economy?’ Well let me give you a rundown to my road of unemployment. Some recent graduates keep their current jobs or go back to old jobs at home until something better comes along. That’s pretty much what I did; I came back to waiting tables.
I found my first job at a charter school to be a kindergarten teacher. I didn’t have a teacher’s license, so I became a permanent substitute to learn the ropes and to see if I could rule out a teaching career. Guess what? It was reaffirmed that I did not want to be a teacher. At the time it was a step up from gravy stained uniform and late night Epsom Salt soaks. It was what I felt I deserved since I busted my hump 4 ½ years, great pay and promise of benefits. What I didn’t deserve was the way I was treated at the school. I was the youngest teacher and I had big shoes to fill with the passing of the teacher. I had a drive for a challenge, but this wasn’t what I bargained for.
I didn’t receive proper training, had an inattentive mentor, and poor communication from administration. My training consisted of preparing report cards and doing assessments, that’s it. No matter how hard of a time I received, none were the fault of my students, but I wouldn’t leave. So, they fired me. What did I do to get fired? Simply put, I stood up for whom/what I believed in, myself.
My mentor lacked tact, professionalism and organization, and was flat out disrespectful; she addressed me like I was 5 years old. For example, in the middle of a math lesson she yelled out suggestions from her chair or got up and took over. I understand I was learning and I had to have a mentor, but are you really going to stop my lesson because you don’t like it? She never held a comment until the end of the day; it was always in the moment.
Now I can take criticism, but my problem was she did it in front of the students and what were they thinking? ‘Miss Wilder is just like us.’ Sometimes you have to just agree or just don’t say anything, no matter what. I’m 22 years old and my generation was brought up to stand up for ourselves. I had an advisor in administration who I saw twice the whole time I was there. Maybe I should’ve made the effort or maybe they should’ve kept their promise of what the presented to me in the interview.
I was told I’d be entering in a nurturing environment (good for new teachers) and that I would be receiving training before entering the class. All of this seemed like it would be scheduled, printed out with a time line. Let’s say we played everything by ear…everyday.
When I was fired, I was sent home in the middle of the school day after I stepped aside and let her take the reins. While giving myself a minute outside after I had been disrespected for the umpteenth time, this time in front of a parent, my mentor came outside to tell me to come back in. I asked politely for a moment and she persisted with bashing me for leaving the scene, but again I asked for a moment. She didn’t like it and said, “I am giving you a moment.” I told her she wasn’t and then she hissed, “Why don’t you just go home for the day, just go home.”
Later I got called back and that’s when they broke the news. They felt my mentor and I couldn’t work together. I defended myself saying it was possible we just had to have strong communication and I was more than willing to make it work. I have scheduled meetings with my mentor, but they didn’t work. A mentor is supposed to guide and I didn’t receive that. I kept trying to recount to see what I did wrong, but now I’m leaving it alone. I was the person who I presented in the interview and I made sure I tried my very best not only for the sake of my job, but for children who lost their teacher.
Everything is a learning experience so I’d like to share. First, I need to do research on the company that I want to work for, talk to employees and people in the community. Secondly, never go for a job that sees you as a new car that they can’t afford (bad budgeting), but they buy (hire) anyway. Third, I deserve respect period, but I need to pick and choose my battles. Fourth, something I already knew, you can’t change someone’s mind of what they think of you. Lastly, it’s not the end of the world.
The administration decided to use an alternative termination, budget cuts, with a letter to prove it; I guess the administration felt that there would be some backlash if I was unable to find a job. Smart choice, however I’m not easily hushed. So here I am sitting at my computer with multiple windows for job searches and I’m thinking this has to be a blessing in disguise.
It would be great if we could wave a magic wand and get those critical, complaining, never-satisfied Negative Nellies stranded on their own island (a la Lost). Sometimes it’s easy to get rid of that negative influence – especially if they are an acquaintance or a not-so-close friend, but what do you do when you are related to the Negative Nellie or when the Nellie is a co-worker on your team? That’s a little trickier.
Here are some tips for handling the Nellie:
Maintain an Assured Safe Distance: When you are driving, it’s best not to get too close to the car in front of you, if they stop suddenly, you might hit them. Staying a safe distance behind gives you a buffer, in case the driver does something unexpected. Do the same with the Nellie. When you have to be around them fine, but when you don’t, don’t seek out their company.
What You Say Can and Will Be Used Against You: Keep that Nellie on a strict need-to-know basis. If they don’t need to know it, don’t share it. This is especially true for those who are going to be super-critical, nosey or gossipy. Also, keep the friends and acquaintances of the Nellie on a need-to-know basis, as well, since they are usually the ones keeping the Nellie up-to-date on all your activities.
Keep Your Enemies Far Away: Sun-tzu, the ancient Chinese general said “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” Maybe that is true in military terms but in real life, that’s just silly. If you can’t trust them, keep them far away. Don’t make it easy for the Nellie to stab you in the back or get ammunition to use against you.
Become a Teflon Don: This one takes some doing, but when the Nellie starts in on you – criticizing you or bringing up past mistakes and old hurts, learn to let it slide right off of you. If you are going to see them, rehearse what you will say and do when they start to bait you. Have a friend or family member on standby that you can turn to for support.
