Archive for the 'Life & Vision Coaching' Category
By Karyn Beach
As a trainer, and now as a life coach, I’ve had the opportunity to work with a wide array of people. From entry-level employees to front-line managers to executives and CEOs, I’ve trained and worked with them all. No matter what their job title or income, I’ve noticed when it comes to making real and lasting changes in their lives, all of them face the same hurdles.
Whether it’s a New Year’s resolution to lose weight or a vow to finally quit smoking, we all face the same challenges. However, there are some very simple things we can do to overcome these formidable obstacles.
Overwhelmed
Often the changes we want to make are pretty major. Giving up a pack a day habit or losing 75 pounds is no cake walk. Yet, at the same time, we make it larger than it really is by focusing on the big picture – the really, really BIG picture.
* “A pack a day is 20 cigarettes. Everyone knows that a nicotine addition is one of the hardest to overcome”
* “75 pounds is a small child! That’s a whole lot of weight.”
We get exhausted just thinking about it! As a result, we never quit before we ever begin, rationalizing that it’s just too much.
There is an old joke that asks, “How do you eat an elephant?” People who have never heard the joke think of all sorts of elaborate answers but the truth is that you eat an elephant one bite at a time . That’s the same way that you lose weight, or start exercising or stop smoking. You do it one pound, one workout or one cigarette at a time.
Overhauled
Let’s say you want to start an exercise program. The reason you haven’t started is that it’s just so expensive. After all, you need the gym membership, the new fancy tennis shoes and of course some new outfits to go with them. It would be great if you could also get a hold of one of those ab-crunching whatchamajigs you saw late last night as you watched Saturday Night Live (while munching on some potato chips). If all those things fell into place, then you could work out.
Likewise, you might put off starting that diet until you have removed every bad food from your pantry and replaced it with its healthy alternative, joined a weight loss program and invested in a fancy new scale.
The truth of the matter is that you’ll never have everything in place and if that’s what you are waiting for, you’ll always be waiting.
The thing to do is to start where you are with what you have. Wear some comfortable clothes and shoes and start taking a walk around the block. Invest $15 or less in an exercise DVD (Walk Away the Pounds is a great one to start with), and walk, tonight.
Over-Achievement
Let’s say you get over the overwhelm and the need to overhaul and you actually begin to work towards your goal. And then, it happens. You have a bad day. You reach for that Krispy Kreme or that cigarette or forget about going on that walk. The next day, you are frustrated and disappointed. You messed up. Now, you ask yourself, “Why even bother?”
As you plan to achieve your goal, you should also plan for setbacks as they will occur. It’s not a matter of if but when . This is not pessimistic but realistic. The thing to remember is to be gentle with yourself but firm. Yes, you made a mistake but it’s not the end unless you decide it is. Forgive yourself and get back on plan as soon as possible.
Over the years, I’ve learned that regardless of the kinds of change you want to make, the secret is to approach it slowly and instead of making big, sweeping changes, make small incremental ones.
Want to go back to school? Then take it one step at a time. Research your schools, fill out your applications, and make an appointment with a financial aid counselor. Each of these mini-goals makes the task of getting an education a lot less daunting.
Looking to lose weight? A week at a time, make one substitution. Replace that sugar 20 ounce soda with a diet one or water. If you do just that and nothing else, you can lose over ten pounds in a year. The next week, replace the chips with low-fat popcorn. Trade in the fried chicken for broiled, you get the picture.
Finally, if you want to make lasting changes, commit to the long haul. All real change takes time, so give yourself the time you need to succeed.
October 07 2009 | Life & Vision Coaching and Organizing Your Life and Power Boost: November 2009 | No Comments »
By Christiana Casey
Hope is not merely wishful thinking; it is much more than that. Hope is knowing and strongly believing that though one is in a desperate situation, things will improve. This faith and optimism has helped individuals gather enough courage to get through the day throughout history. In fact, hope was personified in Greek mythology as Elpis, and when Pandora opened Pandora’s box, she let out all the evils except one: hope.
The ancient Greeks considered hope to be as dangerous as all the world’s evils, but without hope to accompany all their troubles, humanity was filled with despair. It was a great relief when Pandora revisited her box and let out hope as well. In today’s world, however, hope remains strong on the list of human needs. It is like a single candle in a dark hallway, it gives off just enough light to continue on and find the way out of the darkness. This light of hope burns so strongly in the hearts of some, that it is all they need to keep on living. Hope is not resignation; it is motivation and the foundation to build one’s life upon.
As Oscar Romero once said, "Hope is not resignation; it is a commitment to continue to struggle." Therefore, hope creates endurance and strength in a person. Otherwise he or she is simply sitting back and wishing away his or her life. This is not the way to live! One must take action and decide what will become of their life. Take, for example, Chuck Noland in the film Cast Away . Chuck is stranded on a deserted island for many years after having survived a terrible plane crash. He could give up, but he goes on living by hunting his own food, finding shelter, and eventually, building a raft to escape. Luckily for him, he is saved and can once again find safety in his own home.
Like Chuck Noland, many others rely on hope in order to continue their lives. For example, the great Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving. You lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today, I still have a dream." Those truly inspirational words are essential in a time when it is hard to keep one going. In addition, Martin Luther King Jr. also stated, "We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope." This is an amazingly powerful statement. In life there will be many failures, but without hope, there will never be a single achievement. Therefore, hope is a necessary component of every day life.
Hope is always the foundation to build one’s life upon. If one has hope, he or she can go on in times of trouble, can be motivated to do the best possible, and can overcome the pain that surrounds him or her. It is like that little saying goes, "Never say never." One should never give up and never think that a goal or aspiration that he or she has is impossible or too hard to attain. If everyone thought that the goals that they had set in life were too difficult, there wouldn’t be any of the great inventions today, and this world would be a much different place. Hence, hope will always be the "road map" to life. It will be one’s guide on his or her path to happiness.
All in all, without hope, humanity would have a complete lack of motivation and would cease to exist. Therefore, one should base his or her life around the concept of hope. Hope is never giving up; it is moving on with one’s life. After all, as the Arabian proverb says, "He who has health has hope; and he who has hope has everything."
July 23 2009 | Life & Vision Coaching and Other Useful Articles and Power Boost: August 2009 and Your Emotional Self | No Comments »
By Karyn L. Beach
It would be great if we could wave a magic wand and get those critical, complaining, never-satisfied Negative Nellies stranded on their own island (a la Lost ). Sometimes it’s easy to get rid of that negative influence – especially if they are an acquaintance or a not-so-close friend, but what do you do when you are related to the Negative Nellie or when the Nellie is a co-worker on your team? That’s a little trickier.
Here are some tips for handling the Nellie:
Maintain an Assured Safe Distance : When you are driving, it’s best not to get too close to the car in front of you, if they stop suddenly, you might hit them. Staying a safe distance behind gives you a buffer, in case the driver does something unexpected. Do the same with the Nellie. When you have to be around them fine, but when you don’t, don’t seek out their company.
What You Say Can and Will Be Used Against You : Keep that Nellie on a strict need-to-know basis. If they don’t need to know it, don’t share it. This is especially true for those who are going to be super-critical, nosey or gossipy. Also, keep the friends and acquaintances of the Nellie on a need-to-know basis, as well, since they are usually the ones keeping the Nellie up-to-date on all your activities.
Keep Your Enemies Far Away : Sun-tzu, the ancient Chinese general said “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” Maybe that is true in military terms but in real life, that’s just silly. If you can’t trust them, keep them far away. Don’t make it easy for the Nellie to stab you in the back or get ammunition to use against you.
Become a Teflon Don : This one takes some doing, but when the Nellie starts in on you – criticizing you or bringing up past mistakes and old hurts, learn to let it slide right off of you. If you are going to see them, rehearse what you will say and do when they start to bait you. Have a friend or family member on standby that you can turn to for support.
Drink Heavily : Just joking.
July 02 2009 | Life & Vision Coaching and Other Useful Articles and Power Boost: July 2009 | No Comments »
By Lisa Thomas
I was engaged in a trial coaching call with a great woman recently and we were talking candidly about her vision. She had struggled with finances for quite some time and lost some of her passion and zeal for life, so she thought a session with me would impact that area.
After years of being in this type of work, it doesn’t take very long to discover one’s vision. If each of us is willing to "open our mind" to our heart’s desire, a vision will clearly emerge. To this woman’s surprise, the vision did quickly emerge. In fact, it had always been there. She had clarified that vision 20 years before but was not living out of it or making it happen. In fact, it’s on one of her many business cards and even her license plate!
Some of us struggle with clarity of our vision while others are very clear but wonder how to have it manifest itself into the world. One major barrier is finances, thus purpose or vision may never be pursued at ones fullest potential. This woman’s struggle was that very thing! I thought it befitting to share a book with her called "The Secrets of The Millionaire Mind" by T. Harv Eker. We spoke in depth about how she can manage her finances to assist in expanding her vision, rather than finances being the barrier.
Eker’s book is written with the intention to shift the mindset about money. It’s worth reading a number of times. Sometimes we simply need a few pieces of information to have life all come together. In this woman’s case, it was embracing and owning her vision and having some information about how to manage money effectively so that her vision could grow and expand.
T. Harv Eker speaks about and makes suggestions regarding percentages of income/revenue and how to put you in the driver’s seat of your life when it comes to finances. For example, only 50% of your income should be spent on necessities while 10% goes to investments, 10% short term savings, 10% education, 10% to give away and 10% for fun. I highly recommend the book. Read it again and again until the information becomes your mantra.
The woman I spoke of earlier is excited. In fact, she called the next day and left a message singing "I got passsssionnn, I got passion." What a wonderful message to receive. It certainly lifted me to higher heights for the day!
I believe the power lives within you and you deserve to be in the driver’s seat of every aspect of your life…So dare to learn more. Knowledge is POWER.
May 14 2009 | Life & Vision Coaching and Other Useful Articles and Power Boost: June 2009 and The President's Corner and Women and Money! | No Comments »
By GiGi Sampson
Don’t Wait!
"Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today."
Believe it or not, I am one of the WORST procrastinators you will ever meet! Often times I find myself putting off until tomorrow what I don’t want to do today - - but I am working on that. I’ve learned not to put off, not to wait, to do important things - like making sure the people who mean so much to me, know that they do.
Is everyone familiar with Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People? Discovery of them was a turning point in my life.
Let me share my thoughts and beliefs with you about one of those Habits: Being proactive. This is so much more than merely planning ahead and trying to anticipate life! It’s taking
P ersonal
R esponsibility and
O wnership of
A ctivities,
C hoices,
T houghts,
I ncentives,
V alues,
E nergy Expenditures.
"Response-ability" according to Stephen Covey is the ability to choose our response. It is far better to exercise our ability to choose our response to people and to situations, rather than reacting without thought.
Even better is exercising our ability to choose our character. Choosing our character incorporates being PROACTIVE. After all, what makes up our character? Our activities, choices, thoughts, incentives, values, and where/how we expend our energy. Choosing our character makes "response-ability" easier and accountability essential to our nature! Choosing our character is never more critical than when relating to and interacting with other people.
Relationships are the most important elements in our lives! Nothing merits more time; nothing requires more attention. With relationships, being proactive is critical.
A wise young man once told my son, "You can’t choose family, but you can choose your friends. Choose wisely." I would add "invest with a sense of urgency." Don’t wait! Invest in those relationships you value NOW! Why?
In September 1985, I was still a little out of sorts with my dad over a decision he’d made but we still talked and met for lunch on occasion. My sister, on the other hand, was down right MAD at him. On a Friday morning, my dad called to see if I wanted to travel with him to visit my sister in south Louisiana the following weekend. I think dad was trying to make amends and "patch things up" with both of us.
I called later that afternoon to tell him that I would go with him. He was napping when I called so I left that message with my step mother. That evening while I was eating dinner, the phone rang. It was my stepmother’s daughter calling to let me know they’d taken my dad to the hospital. All I asked was which hospital and told her I’d be right there. She said okay. On our way, I must have looked worried because my husband patted my hand and told me not to worry; he told me my dad would be okay and that my dad was strong. I turned to him with what he described as a "peculiar" look on my face and told him no, dad wouldn’t be okay - he wasn’t strong.
Dad was already gone when we arrived at the hospital. He died even before I had received the phone call. We never got to make that trip to south Louisiana. There will be no more opportunities to make full amends.
Don’t wait! If there is dissention between you and someone you care deeply about, don’t wait - make it right. Patch things up. Don’t wait!
In 1988 I lost one of my soul mates. Denise and I grew up next door to each other and had known each other for 26 of our 28 years. Our birthdays were one week apart and she graciously served as one of my wedding attendants. She had the sweetest spirit! I loved Neisy! Those of us closest to her called her Neisy. Neisy battled brain cancer for two years and in March 1988, she fought her final battle. I was working two jobs at the time - full-time at a bank and part-time in a retail mall. One Sunday morning as I was leaving Sunday School, I decided to skip church and go see Neisy at the hospital before I went to work at the mall that afternoon. I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to go see her later that week because my schedule was so full.
I had not realized she had declined so much over a few days time. She never opened her eyes and it was a struggle to understand when she tried to speak but I heard her whisper "I love you" when it was time for me to leave. I leaned down and gently kissed her check and told her I loved her too. Tuesday morning I received the call that she was gone. How glad I am I didn’t wait! I didn’t wait until another day to see her. I didn’t wait to tell her I loved her.
Don’t wait! Don’t wait until tomorrow or the next day. Don’t wait!
This past fall, I almost lost another precious, cherished friend. She had been experiencing some serious health issues but was scheduled for surgery the first week in October and that surgery would remedy those issues. I was attending a seminar in Charlotte on a Friday in late September. My husband picked me up at the end of the day - what he told me put me into shock! My best friend had been hospitalized for not one, but THREE strokes! We went to the hospital immediately.
Over the next several weeks, I’m sure I drove her nuts because she saw me or heard from me every day. Her surgery was the day after my father-in-law’s surgery and as it turned out, I was unable to spend time with her in the hospital immediately after her surgery because I was at a different hospital with my father-in-law whenever I wasn’t at work or asleep. But I made sure I called her every day so she knew she was on my mind and in my heart. I wanted her to know how much she means to me and how much I value our friendship. Today she’s almost fully recovered from the strokes and from surgery. I am so happy she’s still in my life!
Don’t wait! Don’t wait for a more convenient time or for a better opportunity. Make sure the people who mean so much to you, KNOW they do. Don’t wait! Take Personal Responsibility and Ownership of your Activities, Choices, Thoughts, Incentives, Values, Energy Expenditures in nurturing those important relationships. Do it NOW! Don’t wait!
If you have comments or questions for the author, you can email GiGi at tidbitz2009@yahoo.com.
May 11 2009 | Life & Vision Coaching and Other Useful Articles and Power Boost: May 2009 | No Comments »
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